


Blond Poolboy

by AdamantSteve



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crush, Gangbang, Internet porn, M/M, Masturbation, Multiple Partners, Porn, Pornography, Slight Voyeurism, an agent has needs ok!?, private kinks, watching porn and jerking off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2013-03-16
Packaged: 2017-12-04 13:35:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/711322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdamantSteve/pseuds/AdamantSteve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil spends some private time watching porn on the internet.</p><p>****New chapters added due to popular demand!****</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Clint is tagged in this but doesn't actually interact with Phil until the third chapter. I mean it's kind of obvious where this is going but if you must know, check the end notes for an explanation.
> 
>  
> 
> Beta read by [Dunicha](http://dunicha.tumblr.com) but then kind of fiddled around with by me afterwards.

Phil thrashes in the sheets, frustrated with not being able to sleep. He sighs and reaches over to the bedside table for his laptop, opening it and wincing as the brightness of the screen momentarily blinds him. Blinking, he grabs a couple of tissues too but he leaves his glasses. He can see well enough without them or his contacts to jerk off to some porn.

 

He’d usually play coy with himself when he does this, start with softcore stuff, beefcake guys making out with each other or just posing in gyms or swimming pools and only get onto the things he _really_ likes organically. But tonight he wants to just get off and go to sleep, and denying his baser desires when he’s this tired is just pointless. So he goes to the folder buried deep in his bookmarks and clicks on a link that never fails to get him off. 

 

Closing a half-dozen popups, he presses play and kicks the sheets down so they won’t get dirty before squeezing his cock and willing it into hardness. A blond guy on the screen, well muscled and jockish knocks on a door which is opened by a taller guy, a little older and in slacks and a shirt. He gets welcomed in and offered a drink which he promptly spills all over the older man. He’s all apologies, terrible acting that Phil can’t help but roll his eyes at, before the older man, furious now, demands that he clean up and ‘pay for’ his mistake. 

 

It devolves fast into the kid giving the other guy a blowjob, ‘licking him clean’ the guy says, til the film transitions seamlessly into the blond guy being fucked with no lead up or preamble. The older man is still dressed with just his cock out while the younger one is naked, redfaced and promising not to do anything like that again. Then, with a plotline that makes little sense, the older man’s friends join him, somehow getting in without anyone answering the door. The man says the blond is the evening’s entertainment, and soon they’re taking it in turns to fuck his ass and his mouth, spanking too, just for good measure. 

 

Maybe the kid looks a _bit_ like Clint Barton. Phil would deny it if anyone pointed it out but there’s a reason it’s bookmarked. So he has a little crush, it’s perfectly harmless. He’s an attractive man, Phil isn’t blind. 

 

The video ends with the kid looking up and obediently opening his mouth as two guys jerk off across it, smearing their cum over his face and into his mouth. He dutifully swallows it and licks them clean before the video replays the cum-shot. Phil belatedly realises he hasn’t come yet. He’s never made it all the way to the end of this video without coming before, and while he’s hard, he’s still left wanting. 

 

‘Related videos’ pop up after the video fades to black, and another one looks promising. ‘Blond poolboy takes EIGHT loads raw gangbang hardcore xxxtreme’, it’s called, and Phil sighs at himself before clicking on it. He scrolls through the video to avoid the set up. He’s hard enough and close enough that it’ll only take a couple of cumshots and he’ll be done, hopefully. Phil lets the video start a few minutes in, watches one guy thrusting into another guy’s mouth. He can’t quite make out the guy’s face but he has sandy blond hair and is making enthusiastic sounds, both of which Phil appreciates. This video’s bottom has a rather enthusiastic attitude and it stirs something in Phil; it turns him on when someone’s especially eager about sex, and the thought of someone submitting to so many other people so as to sate some deep-seated _need_ is even better. “Take it, slut,” someone in the video says, “you want my cum or not?” 

“Yeah I want your cum,” the guy says, and the video cuts away to the other men standing around in various states of undress, stroking their cocks. 

 

The video goes to someone fingering the guy’s asshole, pouring lube on it and then cutting to them sliding his cock into him. He’s big, this guy, and he goes slowly, but then the bottom pushes back and starts fucking himself on the man’s dick. The video cuts to another angle of where they’re joined, underneath them, and Phil’s surprised at how hard the blond guy is. The top reaches down and wraps a hand around it but then it cuts back to the other angle where he slows, adds more lube and then speeds up. It’s not long before he’s going fast and then pulling out completely and jerking off over the guy’s ass, starting to come and then pushing inside him to finish off, the camera switching back so it focusses on the guy’s balls as they hitch and pump his load into him. 

 

Phil’s beating himself off furiously now, that whole internal cumshot thing always does it for him, and then the guy’s pulling out and the camera follows him as he moves to the blond guy’s head for him to clean him off. The video’s zoomed in so all he can see is a pink tongue and red lips working over the shiny length they’ve been presented with and Phil’s so close now his vision’s blurring, the video zooming out to show just how much this guy is enjoying getting _used_ like this. He looks so much like Clint that Phil’s moaning like he hasn’t in years as he’s coming into his hand, clenching his toes back and forth as his orgasm rocks through him. 

 

“Jesus,” he whispers under his breath, and he closes the laptop as he wipes off his hand. He’ll have to bookmark that video tomorrow. He doesn’t even manage to pull up the sheets before he’s fallen asleep.

 

-

 

He’s almost late the next day, sleeping through his alarm since he’d been up so late. The day is long and stressful and Barton is the same handful he always is, bothering Phil far more than any of his other wards ever do. Still, Phil’s not going to complain about it. 

 

He falls into bed early, the bed still unmade since he’d been in such a rush, and his laptop’s still there so he decides to see where that video was going after all. He’s been thinking about it in the back of his mind all day so he fumbles in a drawer for some lotion because he feels like he has the time and he might as well make a thing of it. He gets comfortable, turns out most of the lights, pulls his cock out of the top of his sleeping pants and slicks himself up for a good jerk-off session, already pretty hard just from the anticipation, like he’s fourteen again and fumbling under the mattress for the men’s underwear section of one of his mom’s catalogs.

 

The sound of the video starts again as soon as he flips the laptop open, someone else pushing inside the guy’s ass now and remarking on how wet and loose he is. Phil hums in approval and starts slowly jerking off, just dragging his hand up and down the skin of his cock but imagining it’s him sliding into the guy’s beautiful ass. He has gorgeously tanned skin and muscles in his back that move as he sucks off someone else, the motion of his head fluid and _graceful_ , which is a weird way of thinking about it but Phil finds himself stuck on it. He imagines for a moment that it’s Clint, who’s back he’s spent long hours studying, lean muscle and fluid motion as shoots arrow after arrow after arrow. “You love it don’t you,” someone says off camera and the guy in the middle of it all hums happily. “Such a cum slut,” they say approvingly. 

 

Phil’s close already, what with letting himself imagine it’s Clint being treated to eight different cocks that he’s so happily taking one after another, and he’s fisting his own cock imagining Clint telling him how much he loves it. He’s close but he staves it off because he wants to see where this goes, not that it’s likely to develop plot-wise, but still. 

 

The camera angle changes again, and this guy is smaller than the one before but the guy taking it is still as hard as ever, cock rigid and swinging beneath him. Phil licks his lips and wishes he could suck it for him, relieve some of the pressure. 

 

Phil’s stroking himself gently because he’s right on the edge and doesn’t want to come just yet, and there’s another six guys to go by his count. The camera changes again and it’s back on the guy’s face and Phil freezes, his hand gone still and his eyes widening. 

 

The face on the screen is Clint’s. 

 

Phil doesn’t know what to do but his hand’s still around his cock and Clint on the screen sticks his tongue out for the guy he’s been sucking off to come on to and Phil comes at the same time as the man in the video with a wretched shout, a garbled mixture of horror and shuddering climax. His hands are wet and the volume’s still on and even though no one else can hear it he suddenly absolutely _has_ to close his laptop as Clint makes a big show of swallowing and then using his hand to squeeze the last few drops out of the dick in front of him even while someone else is still rocking into him from behind. He looks as pleased with himself as he always does and Phil stares at his hands before finally managing to close the laptop with an elbow. He bolts out of bed, holding his hands away from himself and pacing back and forth twice before going to the bathroom to clean up.

 

“Shit shit shit what the fuck oh my god,” Phil’s saying to himself, splashing his face with cold water and then looking at himself in the bathroom mirror. “What in the. Holy shit what the fuck did I just see?” 

 


	2. Chapter 2

A week later and Phil is in bed again, unable to sleep but not for quite the same reasons as before. Right now, he wishes he could go back to whatever it was that used to keep him up at night. Anything would be better than this. 

 

He takes a deep breath and determines to just lay still and hopefully fool his brain into thinking his body is asleep and it'll switch off and stop replaying the... no. He shouldn't think about it. 

 

He closes his eyes and imagines an endless snowy tundra, white as far as he can see. Anything that starts to encroach around the edges of this vision gets pushed away by the whiteness. Phil doesn't move but in his mind he floats forward into the nothingness. "You feel full?" a voice asks, thick with lust, and Phil pushes that away as fast as he can, but not before he's struck with the vision of Clint's face as a second cock is pushed into his ass.

"Yeah," Clint says breathlessly. "Feels good, daddy." 

 

Phil flicks his eyes open and glares at the ceiling as though it's personally wronged him. No. He can do this. Push Clint and... the videos... out of his mind. Think about _nothing_ , he tells himself. This has gotten him over countless things before - meditating himself to sleep. He's good at this. You _have_ to be good at clearing your mind when you work for SHIELD. He takes a deep breath and tries again.

 

This time, as soon as his eyes are closed he sees Clint with glassy eyes, wet from choking and his mouth quirked as he licks his lips. A hand grips his hair and pushes him back down onto the thick- "Goddammit!" Phil cries, hitting his fists against the mattress either side of him. He looks down and shakes his head at the tented sheets. He's never been this consistently horny since he first discovered the joys of his right hand. He already jerked off this morning _and_ as soon as he got home. He sighs and reaches over to the bedside table for a couple of tissues. He'll jerk off but he absolutely will _not_ think about Clint goddamn Barton while he does it.

 

Steve, Phil thinks of instead - which he’s not proud of, but he’s desperate right now - kneeling on the floor in front of him, mouth open and his face earnest and eager. The fantasy lasts about ten seconds before it devolves into Clint kneeling there instead, face already wet and red and grinning, and then he's not kneeling anymore but on his hands and knees and Steve's fucking him at the same time as he starts sucking Phil’s cock. 

 

Fury was right: Phil needs to get laid. 

 

For now though, since his brain is hopelessly polluted, he pulls over the laptop and opens it up. He's not about to watch _those_ videos. Not again. He'll find something else, anything else. Then he'll jerk off and go to sleep. And then he can join eHarmony tomorrow. Or Grindr. 

 

Obviously, he ends up on Clint's videos. 

 

It's not the same one as before; since that fateful night he's discovered a whole host of them, dutifully added to his bookmarks and then deleted and then added again. And then deleted and added once more. Even though he’s come twice whilst watching it, since he _had_ to watch it all the way through, Phil's not such a fan of the watersports one, with some guy pulling out to piss into Clint's ass and then fucking him afterwards. Maybe he's being converted though, which, really? He didn’t think he’d ever be into _that_ but it’s _Clint_ and he’s just loving every second of it.

 

The names run through his head constantly. Alongside ‘Blond Poolboy’, there’s ‘Bareback Salami Sandwich’, a double penetration scene which has ruined deli meats for Phil forever, ‘Creampie for a Soft Butt’, where about a dozen men jerk off over and into Clint’s ass which makes Phil dream about how soft Clint’s butt must be for that to be the title of the video, ‘Super Cute College Guys in Gay Threesome’ which makes Phil feel weird since he knows Clint didn’t go to college, and _that’s_ why it’s all gripped him so much, because as much as he cares about all his specialists, Clint’s murky backstory is especially fascinating, and he can’t help but think about what Clint was doing at the time he made these videos. He desperately wants to ask Clint about them and knows he can’t, so he just thinks about them all goddamn day instead. 

 

The one he ends up watching tonight is the one where Clint's tied to some sort of leather ottoman and then two men work him over, slapping his ass and his legs and his back (and his face) and then fucking him into oblivion. The part that gets Phil is when Clint comes - his cock is pushed down against the side of the thing he’s tied to, and the camera pans in between his legs and those of the man fucking him, and he comes with a guttural moan, since his mouth is too occupied to cry out like he does in most of the other videos, his face screwed up in concentrated bliss. 

 

 _Phil_ wants to do that. He wants to fuck Clint so well that he comes without even being touched. But he wants to touch too. He wants to suck Clint's cock and have him suck Phil's cock and tell him how much he loves it. He wants to do it all.

 

Phil comes when Clint does, sticking his tongue out as if he could lick the tip of Clint's cock where it’s currently leaking against the leather. He comes hard, as hard as he's come all week, heels digging into the mattress and fucking into his hand so hard that if anyone lived with him they'd hear the bed creaking.

 

And then the guilt and shame close over him like rainclouds. He wipes his hand off and closes the laptop, and goes to sleep imagining he's holding Clint close, because since he's come this far in this self-flagellating fantasy he might as well keep going. He imagines what Clint's hair must smell like and wishes he could kiss the back of his neck. 

 

He puts in the paperwork to transfer Clint to a different handler the next day.


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

They're both called on to investigate some hammer thing in New Mexico that may or may not be an alien artifact. It could just as easily be the drunken hallucination of a couple of locals but Fury gives Phil _that_ look and he relents with a groan. This is dogs-body work. He's a level seven agent goddammit. 

 

There's a small mishap on the way and he has to knock out a couple of amateurish criminals in a gas station, which almost makes up for how boring the rest of the drive is. Clint gets all animated about it in the passenger seat and Phil tells him to shut up. He's being kind of an asshole to Clint lately and though he realises it, he's finding it impossible not to be. If Clint grins at him, or says something cheeky, or is anything but sullen and quiet, Phil gets flashes of the videos, and those lead on to more flashes and then he's awkwardly willing a boner to go away and hoping Clint doesn't notice. It's self-preservation more than anything.

 

They finally get there and Phil accepts once more that Nick was right and this is worthy of SHIELD's attentions. It really is a great big hammer which no one can pick up. Clint tries, his arm muscles straining so that Phil has to turn away and not look, though it's too late: it's been added to the sizeable mental repertoire he has of Clint's sexiest moments.

 

Phil sets about arranging things and calling for more backup. Whatever this thing is, they need to test it, figure out what it is, how it got there, how to move it and so on. Phil lets the local PD keep it cordoned off; it'll take til the morning for other agents to arrive with the equipment and expertise they need, so for now he and Clint find the closest motel to hunker down in.

 

For a tiny town in the middle of nowhere, the motel is surprisingly full. Probably because of the hammer and how it's turned into the most popular carnival side-show this side of Vegas. He sighs and accepts the double room. At least they'll have separate beds.

 

They check in and Phil takes the opportunity to get them some take out just to have some time away from Clint. With two burgers each (it's been a long day, and Little Debbie donuts don't quite cut it) and fries, drinks and a couple of pieces of fruit, Phil shoulders his way back into the room, balancing everything on top of everything else. 

 

Clint's on one of the beds looking at a laptop. _His_ laptop. When he looks up at Phil, he’s practically shaking with either rage or indignation, Phil can’t tell. Whatever it is, it’s no good.

 

"Is this why you've been acting like a total asshole?" Clint asks, and Phil knows what he's talking about, there's no point in trying to deflect. 

 

"Which way you gonna go with this, Phil?” Clint says, folding his arms. “You going to tell me it's unprofessional? Call me a whore? Tell me ‘we all make mistakes?’" He snorts and glares at Phil, waiting for an answer.

Phil doesn't say anything, just opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to figure out how to explain.

"Is this why you put me in for a transfer?" Clint asks, his jaw set and his eyes blazing. “‘Cause some asshole junior showed you these? Are you going to tell me you can't work with me cause you think my judgement's impaired or some bullshit? That's what Garner said. Peters just called me a slut and said she didn't want to catch anything off me. Can you believe that?" Clint shakes his head and shuts the laptop, pushes it away from him. "I thought you were better than that, sir."

 

Phil's still standing there laden with boxes and bags of food, and he clumsily dumps them on the little desk and reaches out to stop Clint from standing up and probably running out the door. "No, Clint, wait! Shit," he says. This wasn't how he planned this. He hasn't got anything at all planned, and it's unnerving. Clint looks at him and waits for an explanation. 

 

"I didn't. I didn't know about them. I..." Phil doesn't know how to say it so he just says it. "I found them. Independently. Of. You or anyone else." He looks at the floor and takes a deep breath. 

 

"You _found_ them?" Clint asks, clearly unconvinced. Phil hadn't thought of the possibility that other people in SHIELD might have seen them before but it's suddenly obvious, why wouldn't they have? And the way SHIELD is, they'd have probably run through the juniors like wild-fire.

"No," he answers honestly. "I didn't realise it was you in them at first." He risks a glance at Clint who looks entirely skeptical. Phil looks away again. How to explain to someone that they happened to star in some porn of the kind that you particularly like? It sounded like bullshit. 

 

"So why did you have them bookmarked?" Clint asks, as blithely confused as Steve, and Phil knows he's blushing because the skin on his face feels like it's burning. Clint laughs in shocked realisation after a long pause. "Shit, Phil, I didn't even know you were gay." 

 

For some reason, that makes Phil straighten up and look him in the face. It's not like Clint is about to freak out over it, but the whole situation puts Phil in mind of the times he's had to defend his sexuality and it gets his head (at least marginally) back in the game. "Well I am." He replies indignantly. And why is Clint even looking at his laptop anyway? Why is he on the bed Phil already called? Why is he looking at Phil like that?

 

"Well. So. Why do you..."

 

"I liked them ok?" Phil snaps, turning around to the desk to pick through the bags so he doesn't have to look at Clint.

"Oh come on, Phil," Clint says. "There's no way you're into -" 

"They're bookmarked for a _reason_ , Clint," Phil says quietly, opening one of the boxes and picking out a french fry. He doesn't eat it, he just squishes it into the lid and watches the mashed potato slide across the polystyrene.

"Oh," Clint says. " _Oh_." 

 

Phil takes a breath and turns around. "Yes. Well. Here's your food," he says, handing over Clint's dinner and picking up the laptop without looking him in the eye. "I'd... appreciate it if this could stay between us. I have no reason to tell anyone and I don't intend to. As far as I'm concerned it's... Moot."

 

“Moot?” Clint says. “What, so you find the porn I made when I was a horny twenty-five year old, saved it on your laptop and it’s _moot_?”

 

Phil sits on the other bed and lays his food out carefully. Two burgers, one container of fries. He squeezes ketchup into one of the lids in a neat dollop. “I don’t see why we need to discuss it further,” he answers curtly, opening each burger in turn to make sure no errant pickles ended up in them. 

 

“Bullshit,” Clint says, and he has something close to amusement in his voice now, now that he’s not getting disciplined for anything. “Fuck, it makes so much sense now. You’re into me,” he accuses, and Phil resolutely does not look at him. It makes no difference, Clint’s too good at reading people. He’s also annoyingly good at never letting anything go. “So which is it? You wanna fuck me or you want me to fuck you?” Clint asks, and his voice sounds like it’s mocking.

Phil doesn’t answer the question. “Eat your food,” he says.

“C’mon, sir,” Clint replies. “You owe me this much.”

 

Phil puts the half eaten burger back in the container. “I owe _you_? How the fuck do I owe you?! I didn’t go looking for those videos! And I certainly never meant for you to see them! Why were you even using my laptop anyway? And looking through folders marked ‘private’ and ‘SHIELD only’?” 

“‘Cause you put me in for a transfer!” Clint snaps back. “You’ve been acting like a total dick-hole all week and then you put me in for a transfer and didn’t even tell me?! I wanted to know what I’d done. And now I know,” he finishes with a rueful shrug. 

 

“It’s not... that,” Phil begins. “Look, this has all gone to shit and I don’t know what I was ever expecting but I might as well..." He takes a breath. "I’ve... been attracted to you for awhile.” It feels almost good to have it come out, like absolution just as the world is about to end. He continues before Clint can say anything else. “And I was fine with just keeping it to myself. It wasn’t affecting our working relationship and since I knew there was no way it would ever actually happen I could ignore it. And then last week I...” Phil sighs and makes himself continue, “I was looking at porn on the internet and I found one of the videos.” 

 

“Which one?” Clint asks, as though that had any bearing on any of it.

 

“The... Poolboy one,” Phil answers, and he sees Clint raise his eyebrows in his peripheral vision. “And then I found the rest of them. And it did change the way I think of you, Clint. I’m sorry but it did. I don’t think you’re dirty or unclean or whatever those other handlers thought, which, by the way, is awful and I’ll see to it that their personnel files are thoroughly looked into. They just... I can’t stop thinking about them. And combined with everything else, I can barely be in the same room as you without wanting to do something about it,” Phil tries to push through and get it all out. “Which is completely inappropriate, and just because you made those videos doesn’t mean... it doesn’t mean you would want... Anyway. It doesn’t matter. I just don’t know how to be around you anymore and it’s affecting the way we work together. The way _I_ work. And that’s why I put you in for a transfer. I’m sorry.”

 

“Why did you think it was never going to happen?” Clint asks, which was so not the point of Phil’s little speech. He’s losing his touch. 

“Come on, Clint,” Phil says. 

“No, why? Cause I’m dumb? That’s usually why people don’t want to date me.”

“What? You’re not... Why would you even think _that_?”

Clint shrugs. “I do some pretty dumb shit, Phil. I was in like a dozen pornos for one.” 

Phil shakes his head. “No, that’s. No, of course I would date you. What?” This conversation is confusing. 

“So why then?” 

Phil tuts and looks at him. “What point are you trying to make here?”

“I’m saying that if you ever had gotten your head outta your ass and asked me on a date I would have said yes. And then I’d have been scared about telling you about my ‘colourful history’ in case it was a deal breaker, which apparently it isn’t.”

Clint has that look of matter-of-factness he gets when he’s figured out a better plan than anyone else despite coming into things half-way.

 

“Are you saying you actually want...?” Phil asks, his head tilted in disbelief. 

“ _Yes_ ,” Clint says, as though Phil is the biggest idiot. “Though we’ve had enough meals together that I’m pretty sure could count as dates already. We could just... move on to other shit.”

 

Phil looks at him then, eyes wide in disbelief. There’s no way this can be that simple. Come on, Clint Barton is _not_ into Phil Coulson. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is incredibly long and entirely pornographic.


	4. Chapter 4

 

“What video did you like the best?” Clint asks, biting into a burger and watching Phil over the top of it as though he just asked his opinion on something entirely non-pornographic. As though this was any other meal on any other mission.

Phil picks at his fries some more. “That’s not important.”

“C’mon Phil,” Clint teases. “Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.” 

Phil swallows and licks his lips, nervous tells he’d never usually let himself display. 

“My favourite was the prison rape one,” Clint continues with a shrug, popping a fry into his mouth like it’s nothing. Phil’s glad he not currently chewing anything because he would have definitely choked at that. “You like that one, Phil? It was one of the last ones I did. I could barely walk afterwards.” 

Phil shakes his head and concentrates all his brain power on lifting the burger to his lips and taking a bite, then the extraneous effort it takes to chew and swallow it without thinking about Clint getting worked over by an unusually cooperative force of both guards and fellow prisoners in ‘Sex Jail’. 

 

“Or the one with that guy with the huge dick? His name was Ernest. His real name I mean. He was the most chilled out dude I’ve ever met. I actually kept in contact with him. He’s married now.” 

“Clint,” Phil grinds out. He’s glad that with the way he’s sitting on the bed it’s not too obvious that he’s hard and aching against the unforgiving seam of his trousers. 

“Am I turning you on sir?” Clint asks innocently. 

“Be quiet,” Phil replies. 

“Tell me what your favourite one is,” Clint cajoles, as though if Phil tells him it’ll make Clint leave it alone. 

 

“The one where you’re tied up,” Phil answers, the words jumbled together as he tries to spit them out as fast as he can. Then he turns his head towards the window and takes a resolute bite of his endless burger.

Clint’s grinning and Phil knows that’s it, the last barrier of whatever is holding him back is going down and Clint’s crawling over the top of it, getting closer and closer to the kernel of Phil in the middle, scared and aroused and wanting Clint so very much. 

 

“Do you like that? Do you think about tying me up, sir?” he asks, and he’s pushing the food away from himself and sliding off the bed. He’s picking up the laptop and placing it on the desk behind him, moving Phil’s uneaten burger and the now-cold fries next to it, reaching out and plucking the last bite from Phil’s hand and popping it in his mouth. Phil just watches him do it all, like he’s stuck in aspic, powerless to do anything but stay still. Clint chews, swallows and licks his lips. “Bed frame seems sturdy. You’ve got your cuffs?” 

 

Phil takes a breath but before he can speak, Clint’s kissing him, pushing into his space til he’s almost falling backwards, reaching out and grabbing for Clint as much to keep his balance as anything else, but Clint had to have planned it that way because he moans when he feels Phil grab him and then it’s like the floodgates have been opened. Every image of Clint that has filled Phil’s mind the last week float past in his brain but they’re like a background to the main event: Clint’s tongue hungrily working it’s way around Phil’s mouth.

 

Clint’s hands work their way into Phil’s hair and hold him there, angling to kiss him even deeper, like he’s trying to crawl right inside. Phil doesn’t remember why he was worrying so much, Clint’s right there kissing him and SHIELD, New Mexico, frat regs, even the videos, they all disappear til it’s just Clint, crawling into Phil’s lap and kissing him like Phil’s the last source of oxygen on earth and he’ll do anything to get it. 

 

Clint pulls back and looks at Phil for a long moment, his face a thousand times better than it had ever been in the videos. And then it’s gone, hidden under Clint’s t-shirt as he pulls it off, and Phil just pushes in and kisses him, runs his hands over the taut skin and perfect, _perfect_ muscles that are bigger than video-Clint's ever were. It unbalances them so Clint ends up falling onto the bed instead of in Phil’s lap, and he laughs, Clint’s fucking _laughing_ , he’s undoing his pants and pawing at Phil and grinning like this is the greatest day and Phil laughs too. It’s a little maniacal, but it’s so _real_ , and he feels so light all of a sudden, because this is all so simple. It’s easy really, to shrug off his jacket when Clint pushes it off of his shoulders, to lean in to kiss him when he loosens his tie, to slide his hands into the back of Clint’s pants as Clint meticulously undoes each tiny button of Phil’s shirt. 

 

Clint marvels over Phil’s chest, leaning in to kiss and touch and stroke and wrap his arms around Phil’s waist so he can cling on to kiss up Phil’s neck, which is... ridiculous. He needs to do that all the time. Phil feels like he could come in his pants, he’s so gone. Clint bucks against him, no friction but the motion relaying what he means, what he wants. “Jesus,” Phil breathes.

Clint stops kissing him to lean back, darting in for another quick kiss before asking, “What do you like? Tell me what you want,” and the way he says it, Phil can’t give him anything but the truth. 

 

“I wanna fuck you,” he says, voice lower than he’d realised it would be. And it sounds so vanilla in comparison to everything, but Clint just grins. “And I wanna suck your cock,” because yeah, that had been right up there in his top ten of best things he’s seen in the last week. “I wanna taste your cum,” Phil says, and it’s kind of getting away from him now, but Clint is kissing his neck again and he isn’t in control of what he’s saying. “I want to come all over your face. I want to fuck you and suck the cum out of you. I want to tie you up and fuck your mouth, I want-” Phil says, and Clint’s manuvered them so Phil’s on his back and Clint suddenly has his hand on Phil’s dick and it makes him stop.

“You’re big,” Clint whispers into Phil’s ear, “I don’t know if I can take you.”

 

Phil growls and pushes at him, flipping them over. “You can take it,” he says. “I know you can.” And he did: Phil was tiny compared to _Ernest_.

Clint bites his tongue and looks up at him. “You gonna make me?” 

“I’m gonna make you take every inch,” Phil promises him, and Clint shivers and grins underneath him. He moves his hands up to wrap around Phil’s neck and pull him down for a kiss, and their dicks rub together through their underpants. Phil breathes hard through his nose and grabs one of Clint’s arms, pushes it over his head and holds it. Clint’s stronger than he is, but after the smallest show of resistance he lets Phil keep it there. He does the same with the other one, crossing them over so he can hold them in one hand. 

 

The other hand he trails over Clint’s stomach before his hand is around Clint's cock, the one he’d had burned into his mind the last week, usually being ignored in lieu of other things, but Phil had always gotten transfixed by it, wishing so hard he was there to suck it himself. “ _Can_ I suck your dick?” Phil asks him, and Clint huffs and bucks his body to press it further into Phil’s grip. He nods and bites his lip and that’s all Phil needs to let go and slide down the bed, ignoring his own tangle of pants and shoes to concentrate on finally witnessing Clint Barton’s perfect cock first hand. “Jesus, Clint. You’re so beautiful,” he says, just staring at the thing reverently. 

 

“You gonna suck it or just talk to it?” Clint asks, leaning up on his elbows and watching him. Phil slaps him on the thigh and he gasps.

Phil thinks maybe he’s gone too far, since they’ve not talked about _any_ of this, but Clint looks at him like he’s crazy. “Do it again,” he says, and that’s all Phil needs to be pushing him over and looking at his ass instead, rubbing a hand over it before slapping it and watching how the flesh under his hand moves so brilliantly. 

 

“Do you have a condom?” Phil asks, and reconsiders his previous vote on the inclusion of condoms in standard field packs.

Clint whimpers and Phil slaps him again, unthinkingly. “I do, but... I haven’t done anything since I last got tested.”

Phil breathes in and out before responding. “Neither have I,” he says. 

“So fuck me. I wanna feel you. I want you to do all that stuff you said,” Clint’s leaning back up now and looking at Phil as he says it, and Phil is transfixed by his dick again. He pushes Clint onto his back and sucks the thing, no preamble; he has most of it in his mouth by the time Clint catches up and gasps, his fingers in Phil’s hair and not quite pushing him down on it.

 

It’s been awhile since Phil did this but he knows he’s good at it, knows he can make a man come apart with only his mouth and his hands. It’s a skillset he’s missed using, and Clint’s just perfect anyway, he feels privileged to have this cock in his mouth and these balls in his hand and have Clint bucking up into his mouth so quickly. 

 

Phil pulls off and Clint whines.

“No. I want you to come on my dick. I wanna make you come.” Clint’s cock throbs in Phil’s hand and then he’s moving, rearranging them so Phil’s laying down and Clint has _Phil’s_ cock in his mouth. Phil is kinda big, he knows, but Clint doesn’t seem to give any mind to it, somehow getting most of the thing into his mouth and into his _throat_ , tightening around Phil as he swallows around it. 

 

Phil melts into the bed and watches, eyes lidded and unbelieving as Clint runs through a repertoire of things he’d done in the videos and then more things Phil hadn’t seen him do, and he’s suddenly struck with the realisation that Clint must have (obviously!) had sex outside of those videos, learned lots of things since he was twenty five. 

 

He comes back down to earth when he realises Clint has stopped sucking his cock in favour of kissing his stomach and Phil watches him: he’s at an odd angle, holding himself up with just the one hand. “Are you -?” Phil starts, but Clint licks the tip of his cock again and he can’t finish. Clint is pushing his fingers in and out of himself.

“Gotta stretch out if I’m gonna take this whole thing,” Clint says, nudging Phil’s cock with his nose. 

 

“Let me see,” Phil demands jealously, and Clint grins and complies, stepping off the bed and coming back to straddle across Phil’s belly with his ass towards him.

Phil runs his hands up Clint’s back and then Clint leans forward and starts fingering himself open again. “A little help?” He says, and Phil spits into his hand and pushes a finger into him. It’s been longer than he cares to admit but he’s sure the heat of Clint around his finger is more than it’s ever been with other people. He pushes it in and out beside Clint’s and then slowly adds another, which really starts to stretch him out. Clint moans in the same high, breathy way he does in the videos.

“Feel good, baby?” Phil asks, and where ‘baby’ came from he doesn’t know but Clint doesn’t seem to mind.

“Yeah. Another,” Clint demands, til there’s a total of four fingers in him and the sight of it threatens to undo Phil before they’ve really gotten started.

 

“Wait!” Clint cries suddenly, abruptly getting up and off the bed and Phil’s left there wondering what happened. Clint rummages through his bag until he produces a smaller one, pulling out a little bottle and then leering at Phil. 

“You brought _lube_ all the way out here?” Phil says, disbelieving. 

“You complaining?” Clint asks, and Phil can’t do anything more than grin at him. 

“Certainly not.” 

 

Clint comes back to the bed and crowds his way over Phil, kissing him again before shifting and holding on to the headboard. “which way you want it sir? You like it when my head’s down, all submissive like this?” He demonstrates. “Or like this,” he leans up and holds onto the headboard higher up. “Or on my back?” 

 

“Which one... How does it feel best for you?” Phil asks, because what he _really_ wants, more than anything, is to see if Clint can come from his cock alone like he did in the video. If they’re really doing this.

“On my back,” Clint says, though he’s leaning his head on the pillow and keeping his ass high in the air. Phil’s takes in the view and hopes that maybe some other time (another time!?) they’ll do it like that, do _everything._ From _all_ the videos. 

 

“Get on your back then,” Phil says, rubbing a hand over Clint’s ass and holding him still anyway. Clint shifts but Phil holds on to him. “I love your ass,” he says, mostly to himself, because it’s true and Clint ought to know. Clint leans up and turns, kneeling in front of Phil and crowding him again. Phil’s enjoying all the kissing. There wasn’t a lot of kissing in any of the videos.

“Your ass is pretty great too, sir,” Clint says, nipping at Phil’s lips and reaching around to palm his ass. Phil lets Clint suck on his lip for a bit and then he’s pushing him, one hand flat on Clint’s chest til he sits down and then lays back on the bed, spreading his legs like the most delectable invitation. 

 

Phil just looks at him for a bit; Clint laid out watching him, a grin of anticipation on his face and his fingers pushing in and out of himself like he’s desperate for it. He sees Phil looking and uses his other hand to stretch himself open. “What are you waiting for?” He asks, and Phil shakes his head in disbelief.

“If this is a dream...” He’s not sure what he’d do if it _was_ a dream, but Clint cuts him off anyway.

“It’s not a dream.” The way he says it is almost like he’s trying to tell himself the same thing, and Phil crawls over him to kiss him, controlling the kiss himself this time to make it sweet and slow and try to convince himself that yes, this is real. 

 

Clint reaches between them and grabs Phil’s cock even as they’re kissing, and he slicks it up and starts pushing Phil away. Phil can’t figure out what’s happening - why is Clint pushing him away? Is it over? but then he catches on and lunges back for another kiss. Then he leans back and moves them so Clint’s legs are draped over his own where he’s kneeling, his cock resting next to Clint’s til he pulls back and lines up. 

 

The first push in, he’s looking between Clint’s face and where they’re joined - joined! - together, looking for any sign that he’s hurting Clint or that he really is too big, but Clint simply looks back, eyes heavy-lidded and lips wet and red as he just takes it, inch by inch, no pain, no discomfort, just... Phil can’t place it til he realises he’s seen this on missions countless times before and it makes his heart hurt - it’s _trust_. 

 

“Are you good?” Phil asks him, and the flat expression on Clint’s face changes so he’s smiling too, and he gives the tiniest nod.

“I’m really good,” Clint says, and they stare at each other and smile and then grin and then laugh, almost hysterical and out of control. And then Clint’s grabbing for Phil, open grabby hands that he does sometimes when he’s jerking around, but this time it’s for Phil, who leans forward into his clutches and is held close, pulled into those strong arms and held there as he starts to move, his arms braced either side of Clint’s head with Clint’s arms around his waist, coming up to scratch lines down Phil's back and make his pace stutter. 

 

Phil kisses Clint’s neck as he fucks him, going slow just because they never really did in the videos and he wants to make up for it. Do something he hasn’t seen before. And Clint - well Clint seems to love every second of it, not as vocal or as loud as the videos, but then Phil could tell even then that that was put on, at least a bit. No, Clint moves with Phil, shifting his hips to take him deeply and bringing his legs up behind him to try and pull him in even more. 

 

He whispers though. He whispers right into Phil’s ear how good it feels and how much he’s wanted this and how big Phil is and then he’s just making little breathy moans when Phil shifts a little.

“There?” Phil asks him, pulling back enough to see Clint’s face. Clint nods and winces, but glares reproachfully at Phil when he stops for a moment. “I just,” Phil starts to say, and then he’s shaking his head. “Sorry,” he grins, and he tries to replicate his movement. Clint winces again and holds on tighter, and Phil really can’t tell if he’s hurting him or hitting his prostate but Clint growls in frustration when he stops again so he keeps going. 

 “Don’t wanna hurt you,” Phil explains, moving as he says it.

Clint shakes his head against the pillow. “You’re not,” he says, “C’mon, Phil, fuck me already.”

“I... I am fucking you,” Phil retorts, driving in hard to prove his point. Clint gasps and his body goes a little stiff.

“Oh yeah, like that,” he says, and well, Phil can’t really say no to that. 

“You want it hard?” he asks, and Clint grunts and bites his lips, holding on tightly so he can whisper into Phil’s ear again.

“I want you to fuck me _so_ hard, Phil,” he says, hand around the back of Phil’s neck. “I need it. It’s been months. Months without a cock in me, Phil. You gotta make up for all that time I’ve gone un-fucked.” 

 

Phil’s throat has gone dry and he swallows hard before he moves so he can whisper into Clint’s ear instead. “Months, huh? Is that why you’ve been acting like such a brat?”

Phil kisses Clint’s throat and keeps thrusting into his body, hard enough to have the bed bashing against the wall. He doesn’t even care. “I was hoping you’d catch on, bend me over your knee and punish me for all my insubordination.” 

 

A moan is all Phil can really respond with, because he’s run through that scenario in his head at least a million times before. “You’d make me stay under your desk and suck you off, you ever think about that?” 

“ _Clint_ ,” Phil warns, and he has no idea what he’s warning him of. Clint laughs low and dirty and licks the edge of Phil’s ear as he thrusts forward.

“Maybe I’ll do it anyway, catch you unawares when you’re talking to Fury.”

 

Phil just moans this time and leans up, Clint’s arms letting him go so he can reach back and push Clint’s knees up and really fuck into him, a little deeper than he was before so he’s completely flush with his ass. Clint writhes beneath him and he pants. “You got a filthy mouth,” Phil says, and Clint licks his lips and grins again, so fucking self-satisfied. Phil grips on tight around his legs and fucks him fast til Clint’s reaching back and grabbing on to the edge of the mattress behind him, crying out with each thrust. 

 

Phil watches Clint’s cock, hard and straight up against his belly, the tip wet enough that it’s made a shiny patch where it’s dripped and rubbed onto Clint’s skin. Phil reaches out a finger and slides through it, lifts it up to his mouth and licks it clean. Clint watches him and moans when Phil does that so he does it again. “Could you come?” Phil asks him, “like this?” 

“I think so,” Clint replies earnestly, the same way he tells Phil he’d probably be able to make that impossible shot, eager and hopeful. “Keep fucking me and we’ll see.” 

“God I love you,” Phil says, and doesn’t even really think about it, though Clint doesn’t say anything back so he hopes it's just lost in the jumble of everything else. He’s not even thinking about that right now, he’s thinking about the way Clint’s so open for him, so hard and wanting, telling him ‘yes!’ over and over again in this disbelieving tiny voice as he’s pounding into him. 

 

Clint starts to go a little stiff, the muscles bunching under his skin as Phil keeps working away, and he knows he’s close, has to be. His balls are hitching up and his cock keeps twitching, up and down off of his belly, and Phil keeps going, keeps his rhythm even as he feels his own orgasm approaching. 

 

Clint doesn’t say anything, just goes completely stiff when he comes, white shooting across his belly and onto his chest, jolted by Phil’s thrusts so it’s everywhere, still coming as Clint sobs out more yeses and undulates beneath him. It’s like Clint’s been struck by lightening and Phil, connected so intimately is struck too, coming with his fingers digging into the flesh of Clint’s thighs as Clint’s still spurting the last drops of his own. He really does feel like he’s being electrocuted, like white light is shooting through his veins and across his skin, beginning and ending where he’s joined with Clint.

 

Phil collapses over him and relishes the feel of Clint’s cum slicking between them and eventually making Clint groan in amused disgust. Phil moves and pulls out, and Clint shivers in his arms as they roll onto their sides and break apart. 

 

“Fuck,” Clint says at the same time as Phil says, “shit.”

“That was-” 

“Yeah,” Phil nods. “I-” but Clint shakes his head and interrupts.

"No! Don’t. Don’t talk yourself into regretting this. We’re both adults and we both get to do whatever the fuck we want to do.” His eyes flit between both of Phil’s until he nods. Phil wants to kiss the smile that settles back on Clint’s face and so he does, just leans back in and presses his lips there, slow enough that Clint can back away, but he doesn’t. Phil feels his lips curve against his mouth as he smiles even wider and returns the kiss, deepening it til they’re lazily making out.

 

When Clint breaks off Phil chases his lips but Clint puts out a hand to still him, warm against Phil’s shoulder. “I’d like to do this again,” he says, eyes soft and hopeful.

“Right now?” Phil asks, and he can’t decide if Clint's serious, because he’s almost feeling like he actually _could_ go again, given twenty minutes, or if he’s joking, because anything beyond right now is... a pipe dream, a fantasy.

Clint bites his lip and shakes his head, oblivious to Phil’s concerns. “No. Another time. Maybe with dinner first.” 

“Really?” Phil replies, and he can’t hide the amount of hope that’s trying to burst out of him, dripping off the word.

“Sure,” Clint says, and he’s leaning back in, kissing all that hope right out of Phil’s mouth. “If you want to?”

“Oh, yes,” Phil says, his own hand too gross to sully Clint with so he settles for a toe stroking softly over Clint’s foot. “I think I’d like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> It turns out that the guy in the porn IS ACTUALLY CLINT :O 
> 
> It's not specifically delved into within the story but my headcanon for this story is that, yeah, Clint totally made a ton of porn back in the day and he's not even a little bit ashamed of it. He's maybe a little bit concerned that a certain senior agent might see it but he loved making it. What I'm saying is: he wasn't under duress when he was making it so it's all 100% consensual. He's aware that it's on the internet but the kind of porn it was, he's pretty sure Coulson's unlikely to see it because there's no way he shares his kinks (except this is fanfic so he does).


End file.
